I've only been teaching six days at this school and already I have time off! That doesn't include sports day last Friday that I had to attend as part of the faculty. All I did was wave at students and watch them spend all their parents' money on worthless junk. It was like a carnival type thing with face painting and even a haunted house! Actually it was more like a haunted tiny room. But those kids were paying upwards of 20 baht to see inside so at least the school made money! Money to give to me during all these days off!
The weekend was fun. My fellow English teachers took me out for dinner at this steak restaurant in Pran Buri. Here's the thing about young Thai restaurants serving western food: everything is made in the order starting with the longest item to prepare, and then goes on down to the dishes that take the least amount of time. Only one item can be cooked at a time (not because they can't, but because that's just what they decided) and when it is finished, it is brought to the table. There were seven of us. We ordered at 7. The last dish arrived at our table right before 9. And my southern manners prevented me from eating until then. The only problem was that I had gotten my food around 7:30. Eating cold chicken reminded me of how my mom loves eating cold meat. It was good, but not good. After that most of us went to a bar right down the street to loosen up and hang out after our first week back after the holidays so that was fun. It felt so good to use sarcasm again! It had been way too long.
After a nice first weekend in the middle of nowhere, school started again. Every morning I have to be there at 7:30. I go to my office and look at what happened on Facebook in the United States while I was sleeping and then at 8 we have assembly. Like other schools, we raise the flag and sing the college football fight song-style national anthem. Then we say our prayers to Buddha and thank him 3 times and sing a little song to him. Then one of the English teachers gets on the little stage and gives what my boss calls "general English knowledge." I don't think any of us has any idea what that means. But the teachers so far have just given a word of the day and explained its meaning. I have to give the general knowledge tomorrow and I can't decide if I'll just do a word of the day or if I'll choose to speak the lyrics of a western pop song. I want to be brave, but we'll see how it goes. More on that later.
Next we all scramble and go to our first classes. My schedule is different every day, but Mondays are good because I only have 5th and 6th grade, but bad because they're a bunch of rebellious preteens. My first class is 6/4. This class has my favorite student, Ploy. She sits next to a girl also named Ploy. And there is another girl a couple rows back also named Ploy. They're only 3 of the 7 Ploys I teach in the 6th grade. Confusing, huh? I like her the most because regardless of whether the class is sitting quietly doing work or wildly screaming and not paying attention, she is ALWAYS focused and ready to learn. It makes the class worth it knowing that I can impart knowledge to at least one student. Mondays and Tuesdays are hard because I only have one free period at the end of the day, but not the very end, so I can't leave early.
The best day is Wednesday because periods 1 and 2 are free so I can sleep in! This week is different though because all my students have mid-terms today and tomorrow. So I go to assembly in the morning and then I'm finished for the day! And then Friday is Teachers' day and no one goes to school for that!
My very kind, accommodating, efficient, and helpful new agency is giving me a salary advance since I only came here with about 9000 baht and I wouldn't be getting paid until the 30th! I spent 8000 on my rent and deposit and 1000 has been spend solely on food. In fact, today I literally spent my last 20 baht note. And that was just for water. Now I have exactly 28 baht in change and that will only be used for an emergency between now and tomorrow afternoon. I have to be very careful because my motorbike is very close to empty and I have to drive almost a kilometer to get to the bank and then to the gas station. But if bad goes to worse I can just push the bike to get the gas after I'm at the bank. Anyway, the agency is giving me 10000 of my salary now, and then 20000 of it on the 30th. The Lord at work again! It's interesting how frugally you can actually live when you literally have no money. I'm not worried though. If God has taken such good care of my up to this point, I know he's not gonna stop now.
My very rude, unaccommodating, inefficient, and unhelpful previous agency conveniently "lost" my time sheets for a whole week in December. Of course they didn't ever mention to me that they couldn't find them. When I asked when I'd be receiving the rest of my money, they didn't even say that didn't have them! After all I went through with them I was certainly not happy. I knew I sent those time sheets so I went back into my email and found them for those geniuses. I literally cannot understand why they would either be so ridiculously rude and delete that email or "forget" I sent them, or be so incredibly incompetent that they actually did think that I didn't work an entire week in December and think that was completely normal. I'm getting all worked up again talking about this! They better get it right this time or they will get an earful from me and hopefully from XploreAsia in the process. I will not be cheated by them again!
Now that the rant is over I can talk about what I miss. FOOD! I miss the ever flowing fountain of ginger ale that would flow from the outside fridge. I miss eating eggs in all its wonderful forms. I miss smelling grilled beef and then actually getting to eat grilled beef! I miss being able to cook my own food in an actual kitchen! I haven't even seen a real live kitchen in almost four months! Microwave food is good, but at some point I have to move on! Street vendors are good too, but again, at some point I need something more! And one day I'll have that and it will be such a magnificent meal I'll take a bunch of pictures and post them on here. But until that day, peanut butter sandwiches with a side of wavy lays and a bottle of orange fanta will have to do!
Wednesday, January 14, 2015
Wednesday, January 7, 2015
The Real Beginning
So this is my fourth day at my new school in the outskirts of Hua Hin. The new place I work is a humongous private school in between Hua Hun and Pranburi, about two hours south of Bangkok. It's very different from Phuket. The nearest Family Mart of 7/11 is NOT right around the corner, like it is everywhere in Phuket. And there's not a thousand street vendors vying for my business. But there are benefits! My apartment is not surrounded by a bunch of barking dogs at night and its quite peaceful. It's nice to finish a long day at work--with 3000 kids all screaming hello at you as you want by--with a nice, cold glass of Fanta while I peacefully binge on The Good Wife. It's so much simpler here. And that is one of the reasons I wanted to move to Thailand, for the simple life. And although I did enjoy Phuket, this is something I will really have to get used to.
At this new school, Rakwittaya, I am the sole English teacher for grades 4-6. There are four classes in each grade, so I teach twelve different groups of children. Learning names isn't even an option. Of course you always remember the name of the kid you call on all the time for being too loud, but other than the trouble makers, I only know the generic names like Ice or Pear. The school is very laid back and I have a lot of curricular freedom, which is something I lacked at my previous school. It's not as great as it sounds since I only see every class twice a week, but it does mean I only have to make 6 lesson plans a week, and at my last school I had to make 20. Unlike most government schools, I can do whatever and go wherever I want as long as I sign in at 7:30am and sign out before I leave for the day! On Thursdays, an English teacher gives "general knowledge" at assembly. I have yet to know what that means. Maybe I could just read one of my blog posts and explain that it's technical general knowledge about myself! We'll see how that goes next week.
After being here for the last few days I've realized that being in Phuket was just training for being here. A genius part of God's perfect plan. If I needed to trust Him in Phuket, then I definitely need to trust Him here. Things are not as easily accessible and hard times will intensify. But God taught me well in Phuket that He will provide, and already He has. I came to this place with very little money because working part time for half a month while also playing other bills doesn't add up to a big amount of money. But He provided a nice apartment that was very affordable. Left with around 2000 baht, I thought I would be fine! My school was in walking distance of my house but all the stores were not, and I wanted, but didn't need a motorbike. My awesome land lady told me that she knew someone who rented them and could get me one. I explained that I didn't have the regular 3000 baht for one. She smiled, as she always does when she sees me, and told me it was only 2500 and I didn't have to pay until the end of the month! I was a little shocked because that is a very, very rare deal. I skeptically said yes, and that afternoon, she was waiting for me outside my school with the motorbike. God will always provide everything you need, and even sometimes the things you want.
I feel like this is the real beginning of my adventure in Thailand, and Phuket was just the practice round. I can't wait to see what God has in store for me in this teeny town at this massive school!
At this new school, Rakwittaya, I am the sole English teacher for grades 4-6. There are four classes in each grade, so I teach twelve different groups of children. Learning names isn't even an option. Of course you always remember the name of the kid you call on all the time for being too loud, but other than the trouble makers, I only know the generic names like Ice or Pear. The school is very laid back and I have a lot of curricular freedom, which is something I lacked at my previous school. It's not as great as it sounds since I only see every class twice a week, but it does mean I only have to make 6 lesson plans a week, and at my last school I had to make 20. Unlike most government schools, I can do whatever and go wherever I want as long as I sign in at 7:30am and sign out before I leave for the day! On Thursdays, an English teacher gives "general knowledge" at assembly. I have yet to know what that means. Maybe I could just read one of my blog posts and explain that it's technical general knowledge about myself! We'll see how that goes next week.
After being here for the last few days I've realized that being in Phuket was just training for being here. A genius part of God's perfect plan. If I needed to trust Him in Phuket, then I definitely need to trust Him here. Things are not as easily accessible and hard times will intensify. But God taught me well in Phuket that He will provide, and already He has. I came to this place with very little money because working part time for half a month while also playing other bills doesn't add up to a big amount of money. But He provided a nice apartment that was very affordable. Left with around 2000 baht, I thought I would be fine! My school was in walking distance of my house but all the stores were not, and I wanted, but didn't need a motorbike. My awesome land lady told me that she knew someone who rented them and could get me one. I explained that I didn't have the regular 3000 baht for one. She smiled, as she always does when she sees me, and told me it was only 2500 and I didn't have to pay until the end of the month! I was a little shocked because that is a very, very rare deal. I skeptically said yes, and that afternoon, she was waiting for me outside my school with the motorbike. God will always provide everything you need, and even sometimes the things you want.
I feel like this is the real beginning of my adventure in Thailand, and Phuket was just the practice round. I can't wait to see what God has in store for me in this teeny town at this massive school!
 |
| Here's a picture of what the kids have been doing during their free periods and lunch this week. When I first saw the Spiderman float, I was confused because at first glance it looked like Spiderman was squatting and holding up his clenched fists like he was pooping out little Thai kids (because it was a slide). At second, third, and fourth glance. That is exactly what it looked like. |
Saturday, January 3, 2015
The Perfect Plan
Every New Year's day, for as long as I can remember, has been supremely about firsts. The first person I hugged. The first thing I ate. The first TV show I watched. The first person I texted. But after that day, all those firsts are lost in the non-first memories I make over the year. That day of firsts becomes completely irrelevant compared to the lessons I learn and the challenges I face over the course of what is, for the next 365 days, technically a new year. And so now in this new year, I reflect on the most important things that happened to me in 2014, partly because I can't remember who the first person I texted was in 2014, but mostly because I don't really care.
...................................................................................................................................................................
I spent my first month of 2014 in the resort town of Mammoth Lakes, California. In fact, I don't even remember what I did for New Years while I was there, probably because the memory of that time vastly overshadows that one day. I was living in a broken home. Not broken by divorce, but broken by relationships. Tension was always high and fights were as common as checking your phone. I learned a very valuable lesson about family, and even more valuable lessons about myself. My time there ended on a worse than bad note. Things were said that could not be taken back, and I don't know about the other party, but I feel badly about how it all went down. I had been home for about a week and I was talking with my therapist about the events that occurred during the winter season, and he asked me what I should have done differently. I was taken aback. I could think of a million things other people should have done differently, but I had never stopped to think what I would have changed about my actions. To be honest, I didn't know the answer right then. But it haunted me over the next few weeks as I tried to think about how a change in me might have changed the situation.
Back then, I was still pretty shy. And I'm ashamed to say, I would often still use ignorance as an excuse. I still had residue of manipulation from past years on me, and truth was not my go to answer. There were a couple incidents where I pocketed all those traits and turned into a much better person than I was, but in the end, that person was gone. And I had withered back to my old ways and the first big event of 2014 was not a good one. By the end of my stay there, the man I thought was my friend and counselor had accused me of being an alcoholic, questioned my integrity, and judged my Christianity. Long story short, through dishonestly on both sides, secrecy, broken relationships, and tears, I left that horrible place. Geographically and emotionally.
But back to the great question! What could I have done differently? When I look back, I think that sometimes I was too hard on myself and the family I was staying with. I know that I let the line between tenant and family friend be extremely blurred. And I know that I did not stand up for what I believe is right. After a lot of reflection, I realize that I wasn't hard enough, that it was my fault that the line was blurred, and that I really needed to be more assertive. After all, it is important to stand up against wrong. I always remember this line from Megamind, that if there is evil, good will rise up against it. Now I'm not saying there was evil there, but there was wrong, and I should have stood up against it.
Since that experience, I have become much more assertive. I stand up against wrong, and I voice my opinion when I believe it is right. I also learned that in a good relationship, transparency is very important. It's easy to hide things, but you never know, the person you're hiding something from could be the only person who can help you solve it.
.....................................................................................................................................................................
According to my Journal, after I got home from Mammoth Lakes, I started working at Holiday Ham with my brother, Zach. There was a conversation I had with my brother that made me realize something. It seems so simple and stupid that I had never thought of this before, but I have to be confident in my decisions. I also have to be confident in decisions made by others for themselves. Zach and I are both adults and it's wrong of me to question or make fun of his decisions just as it is for him to do the same for me. It was weird, it was like an epiphany. It caused me to look back at my decisions. There have been a lot of big ones over the last 4 or 5 years.
And I am proud of all of them. I'm proud that I decided to take a year off college and work in St. Louis while living with my aunt and uncle. I learned valuable lessons while I was there. I'm proud that I came back to Memphis after Christmas to fight my depression head on. I learned valuable lessons through that. I'm proud that I worked through it over many months and went back to college the following fall. Another season of valuable lessons. I'm proud that I decided to drop out after that year and pursue a career teaching in Thailand. Valuable lessons learned there, too. And I am so proud that I decided to move here to Thailand. The lessons I've learned here so far have been amazing.
So don't be ashamed of your decisions, instead look for the lessons you learned that helped shape who you are today!
......................................................................................................................................................................
I get to talk about Thailand because it was still part of 2014. I came here with about 55,000 baht. Which is about $1800. A very large group of us trained together in Hua Hin for one month and then moved to our placements around the country. I left Hua Hin with about 11,000 baht. Which is not that much. I blew through that money during training and I was going to have to pay for it here in Phuket. And I did! Money problems were always at the top of my issues. I was working part time, which pays much less than salary, but the worst part was there were so many holidays in November and December that I was only making around 16,000 baht a month. This is a perfectly acceptable salary for a Thai, but for a westerner in a vacation city, definitely not. There were numerous times where I didn't think I would be able to make it.
But I have a God who always provides. Here is an expert from a Facebook message I sent to my parents just a few days ago.
It never ceases to amaze me how God has provided for me over and over again since I've been here. With stuff as big as [finding ways around money problems] to small stuff like keeping the big rain clouds off my path when I have to drive to Phuket Town on Saturdays and its raining everywhere else. I've never really been in a situation where I've had no choice but to rely on God. And in the past, I've known that I can and should rely on God, but temporary security comes in many formers in your comfort zone, and being so far from it now, those temporary securities have faded, leaving only the one true security. I've never had doubts that God is real, but I feel as though He is truly showing himself to me while I'm here. And I think its a loving slap in the face to make me realize that there truly is only one security, one insurance that provides full coverage in any and every situation. I keep telling myself that while I'm here, even when I have everything I need, that the Lord will provide. He's provided for me thus far, so why would he stop when it gets worse? ...The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord!
I truly hope this shows you, reader, how amazing God is. How amazing it is that He uses the strangest, most random things and people to provide for you. Usually, we don't even notice because were so deep into our comfort zones. But He's there, and He's working for you. I've always known God has a plan for me, but it wasn't until Thailand that I realized that His plan for me is perfect.
.......................................................................................................................................................................
So now here we are again, at the beginning of another year--reminiscing about the past and wondering about the future. One of my favorite characters from the show Friends, Phoebe, says in one episode, "you're not mad about the...Louisiana purchase, are you? No! Because it's in the past!" It's a nice reminder that the past is just that, past. It's fun to remember, but its dangerous to reconsider. And the future... we have no idea. We make plans, but do our plans ever pan out exactly how we think they will? Not really. Does God's? Always. I say let 2015 be the year of trusting God's plan. Of course it's still good to plan ahead and make plans, but just remember that whatever does happen to you this year, it's all part of God's PERFECT plan to present you with challenges and teach you lessons. And no matter what happens, He will always be there to provide what he knows you need.
...................................................................................................................................................................
I spent my first month of 2014 in the resort town of Mammoth Lakes, California. In fact, I don't even remember what I did for New Years while I was there, probably because the memory of that time vastly overshadows that one day. I was living in a broken home. Not broken by divorce, but broken by relationships. Tension was always high and fights were as common as checking your phone. I learned a very valuable lesson about family, and even more valuable lessons about myself. My time there ended on a worse than bad note. Things were said that could not be taken back, and I don't know about the other party, but I feel badly about how it all went down. I had been home for about a week and I was talking with my therapist about the events that occurred during the winter season, and he asked me what I should have done differently. I was taken aback. I could think of a million things other people should have done differently, but I had never stopped to think what I would have changed about my actions. To be honest, I didn't know the answer right then. But it haunted me over the next few weeks as I tried to think about how a change in me might have changed the situation.
Back then, I was still pretty shy. And I'm ashamed to say, I would often still use ignorance as an excuse. I still had residue of manipulation from past years on me, and truth was not my go to answer. There were a couple incidents where I pocketed all those traits and turned into a much better person than I was, but in the end, that person was gone. And I had withered back to my old ways and the first big event of 2014 was not a good one. By the end of my stay there, the man I thought was my friend and counselor had accused me of being an alcoholic, questioned my integrity, and judged my Christianity. Long story short, through dishonestly on both sides, secrecy, broken relationships, and tears, I left that horrible place. Geographically and emotionally.
But back to the great question! What could I have done differently? When I look back, I think that sometimes I was too hard on myself and the family I was staying with. I know that I let the line between tenant and family friend be extremely blurred. And I know that I did not stand up for what I believe is right. After a lot of reflection, I realize that I wasn't hard enough, that it was my fault that the line was blurred, and that I really needed to be more assertive. After all, it is important to stand up against wrong. I always remember this line from Megamind, that if there is evil, good will rise up against it. Now I'm not saying there was evil there, but there was wrong, and I should have stood up against it.
Since that experience, I have become much more assertive. I stand up against wrong, and I voice my opinion when I believe it is right. I also learned that in a good relationship, transparency is very important. It's easy to hide things, but you never know, the person you're hiding something from could be the only person who can help you solve it.
.....................................................................................................................................................................
According to my Journal, after I got home from Mammoth Lakes, I started working at Holiday Ham with my brother, Zach. There was a conversation I had with my brother that made me realize something. It seems so simple and stupid that I had never thought of this before, but I have to be confident in my decisions. I also have to be confident in decisions made by others for themselves. Zach and I are both adults and it's wrong of me to question or make fun of his decisions just as it is for him to do the same for me. It was weird, it was like an epiphany. It caused me to look back at my decisions. There have been a lot of big ones over the last 4 or 5 years.
And I am proud of all of them. I'm proud that I decided to take a year off college and work in St. Louis while living with my aunt and uncle. I learned valuable lessons while I was there. I'm proud that I came back to Memphis after Christmas to fight my depression head on. I learned valuable lessons through that. I'm proud that I worked through it over many months and went back to college the following fall. Another season of valuable lessons. I'm proud that I decided to drop out after that year and pursue a career teaching in Thailand. Valuable lessons learned there, too. And I am so proud that I decided to move here to Thailand. The lessons I've learned here so far have been amazing.
So don't be ashamed of your decisions, instead look for the lessons you learned that helped shape who you are today!
......................................................................................................................................................................
I get to talk about Thailand because it was still part of 2014. I came here with about 55,000 baht. Which is about $1800. A very large group of us trained together in Hua Hin for one month and then moved to our placements around the country. I left Hua Hin with about 11,000 baht. Which is not that much. I blew through that money during training and I was going to have to pay for it here in Phuket. And I did! Money problems were always at the top of my issues. I was working part time, which pays much less than salary, but the worst part was there were so many holidays in November and December that I was only making around 16,000 baht a month. This is a perfectly acceptable salary for a Thai, but for a westerner in a vacation city, definitely not. There were numerous times where I didn't think I would be able to make it.
But I have a God who always provides. Here is an expert from a Facebook message I sent to my parents just a few days ago.
It never ceases to amaze me how God has provided for me over and over again since I've been here. With stuff as big as [finding ways around money problems] to small stuff like keeping the big rain clouds off my path when I have to drive to Phuket Town on Saturdays and its raining everywhere else. I've never really been in a situation where I've had no choice but to rely on God. And in the past, I've known that I can and should rely on God, but temporary security comes in many formers in your comfort zone, and being so far from it now, those temporary securities have faded, leaving only the one true security. I've never had doubts that God is real, but I feel as though He is truly showing himself to me while I'm here. And I think its a loving slap in the face to make me realize that there truly is only one security, one insurance that provides full coverage in any and every situation. I keep telling myself that while I'm here, even when I have everything I need, that the Lord will provide. He's provided for me thus far, so why would he stop when it gets worse? ...The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord!
I truly hope this shows you, reader, how amazing God is. How amazing it is that He uses the strangest, most random things and people to provide for you. Usually, we don't even notice because were so deep into our comfort zones. But He's there, and He's working for you. I've always known God has a plan for me, but it wasn't until Thailand that I realized that His plan for me is perfect.
.......................................................................................................................................................................
So now here we are again, at the beginning of another year--reminiscing about the past and wondering about the future. One of my favorite characters from the show Friends, Phoebe, says in one episode, "you're not mad about the...Louisiana purchase, are you? No! Because it's in the past!" It's a nice reminder that the past is just that, past. It's fun to remember, but its dangerous to reconsider. And the future... we have no idea. We make plans, but do our plans ever pan out exactly how we think they will? Not really. Does God's? Always. I say let 2015 be the year of trusting God's plan. Of course it's still good to plan ahead and make plans, but just remember that whatever does happen to you this year, it's all part of God's PERFECT plan to present you with challenges and teach you lessons. And no matter what happens, He will always be there to provide what he knows you need.
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