I Might Have to Change the Name of This Blog...

It's really amazing how things change so quickly in your life. The unexpected twists and turns in the wonderful story of life have never ceased to amaze and surprise me. I feel so blessed to have all these different experiences throughout my life that continue to teach me valuable lessons in so many different areas. So, today ends the Cambodia chapter in my story. Even this short month in Phnom Penh has brought many new challenges and many new successes that I can happily add to my experience repertoire.

I found out I can get completely lost in a foreign city that doesn't speak English and successfully, although slowly, find my way home. I learned that Corgis are the most promiscuous pooch in Cambodia AND Thailand because they have the most mixes wandering the streets.  I've had multiple money issues that God has happily lent a hand in. And multiple physical issues that he has also helped me with. I guess the lesson that should be learned from all of these situations is that you HAVE to trust God. There's a very fine line between being a good steward of your possessions and resources to solve problems, and letting go of everything and letting God solve your problems. And I think that is one of the most valuable lessons I've learned in my last (almost) 7 months in southeast Asia.

But the time for southeast has ended, and the time for China has begun! During this year of the goat, I believe, I will be the private tutor of two young Chinese boys in the small town of Hangzhou. It only has 4 million people. So small. I will stay with the family and help with the boys while the parents are out at work while teaching them English, probably some cooking, and lots of compassion. I'm really looking forward to this very unique experience.

I was just thinking the other day about how in Thailand, I was making money, but things weren't free. And then in Cambodia, I wasn't making money, and things aren't free. And now in China, I will be making money AND things are free! (Because the family will pay for literally everything for me in China.) It's a weird turn of financial events and I'm thankful to say I think I've been through all the possible scenarios of income and thing.

Here's a nice picture of where I'll be living for the next year so you can all see how difficult my life will be! Its a bit blurry but isn't it beautiful!? And clean!? I'm really excited about the clean part. I think I might have to change the name of this blog...

Zach and Ellie

Apparently its National Sibling Day in the US. In Cambodia we're all gearing up for the week long holiday of Khmer New Year, where almost everyone gets the entire week off work. There isn't a single American holiday that gives us any more than like 3 days off. Unless you work in hospitality, then you never get any holidays ever. But back to this sibling thing...

A few years back when I went to college, part 1, I couldn't stand being away from my family! Missing family dinners and watching sports on Saturday while grilling the whole time was not the easiest thing to endure. I love all my family very much, but the two that I'm hardest on and most protective of are my siblings. Zach's been around for 22 years making my life more interesting. I was about to say he took the spotlight off of me when it came to getting in trouble, but that's not true.

Zach is always very careful. He respects authority in a way I can't fully understand. I hope over the years, I've hardened him a little on that subject, but he's still more obedient than I am. He always took punishment MUCH more seriously than I did. I remember during the pre-Ellie years when we were always getting in trouble together. We were literally partners in crime, and not in the fun way we usually say that. I was probably always the instigator and just dragged Zach down with me. It seemed like every Sunday on the way home from church, Zach and I would do something that upset Dad and he would inform us that we would each be getting seven swats when we got home. To Zach, this was like hearing he was about to get his leg torn off. The very thought of getting any swats was torture for him. And when the time finally came, I could hear from the guest room Zach screaming like he was actually getting his leg torn off. I've always respected his respect of authority, but I've never agreed with it. I'm just more of a rebel I guess. But he was my very first friend and I will love him forever for that.

Ellie, on the other hand, is sneaky like me. When she told Dad she was riding her bike for an hour or so, she was really riding to Subway and eating sandwiches. That's something I totally would have done, and I probably did some form of that in my high school years. One thing I love about Ellie is that even though she's my little sister and little sisters usually need protecting, she doesn't need any! She's ferocious and independent and isn't spending most of her time looking for a guy, which makes it a ton easier for Zach and me. One thing I miss about Ellie is when we would go get food and just talk. Sometimes it was a milk shake at Chickfila and sometimes it was cheese dip at Happy Mexican. Either way, I miss having that time with her every once in a while. She was my friend I could talk to about anything, and I know she would never tell anyone else. She probably has most of my secrets.

I hope I've always set at least just an example for them, whether it was good or bad, since you can learn from both. I've known them and loved them and watched them grow up for their whole lives, and unlike everyone's Facebook posts, I haven't loved every minute of it. There were times we all hated each other! Although we all have our own personal fighting styles, here's what I admire about Zach's and Ellie's.

Zach, like I said, is very careful. He only seizes power in a situation when he knows he can get it. And when he gets it, there's absolutely no way for anyone to get it back. That's annoying for me because I can get a little risky with my power moves. And when one way doesn't work, the tide shifts, and I'm at his mercy. He's smart like that.

Fights with Ellie are different because 1, she's a girl, and 2, she's the youngest. She has two people on her side that will always intervene on her behalf: Mom and Dad. It's a sneaky tactic, because no matter who started it, Ellie usually ends it, and it's Zach or me who ends up getting the "please be nice to Ellie" talk from the parents. Every time that happens I get this feeling she's somewhere listening and smiling maniacally. She always picks the winning side, which makes her a winner.

I've always wondered what it would be like if we teamed up against the parents because we outnumber them! I don't know why we never thought of that. But I love when the three of us team up. Even if just two of us are on a team, that team will probably win. Because we're all fighters, we're all smart, and we're extremely likeable. So here's to you, Zach and Ellie! May we continue to dominate the cousins, and always have each other's backs!

Dear Single Person

I've been thinking a lot about Jesus' mission this week, obviously because Easter is tomorrow. I've also been thinking a lot about how I'm getting older. One of my Cambodia friends turned 30 something this week and he's single. When I realized that, I remembered that all my grandparents AND my parents were all married by the time they were my age. In fact, they were probably closer to my brother's age when they got married. So for the briefest second, I felt unaccomplished. I mean I'm not even in a serious relationship right now. I haven't been in one for over 5 years! That made me feel more unaccomplished.

But then I started to think about my mission. Jesus' mission started when he was 30 and lasted for only 3 years. And when his mission was finished, God took him back home. His mission didn't include a wife. Neither did Paul's. That made me feel a little better. Over the past couple of years, I've come to the conclusion that I'm mostly ok with my singleness. God is in control of my life and if I don't have a partner right now, that must be part of the plan. So I'm ok with that. Plus being single has a lot of perks! I don't have to pay for dates and gifts and stuff, which is good because I really love buying things for people. It's something I've had to stop doing ever since I had to start providing for myself here in Asia. And I think that it's nice that I only have to worry about myself.

But sometimes I do something dangerous; I think about the future. When I finally understood marriage years ago, I dreamed of having a wife so that I would have someone to share this amazing journey with. Sure, single people are more wealthy, but they don't have that special person. And that's ok! I know some people who's mission hasn't included a spouse and they're doing great! I guess this post is turning into me reassuring myself that it's ok to be single. That's what all of the single people say probably. At the meetings we raise our right hands and say, "it's ok to be single!"

One of my favorite sermons was last year's Christian Life Conference when Barton Kimbro spoke about singleness. But I still struggle to be ok with it. When I look at the big picture I literally and truly am ok with it. But when I think about myself this time next year, I ponder in dismay about whether it will be another single year. Single year number 6! All my friends back home are getting married. One guy I knew from college who's Zach's age is having a baby! Don't even get me started on that!

In preparation for this single post, I gathered the 4 most important books in my life, the Bible (duh) and my three journals I've been writing in since 2002. They all have very important things to say about being single. Journal 1 (2002-2011) has stories about PDS and Lizzy Willson babysitting and riding to the Edge with Megan Warner. It's also full of stories of my ex girlfriends. It reminds me of all the good relationship lessons I've learned over the years.

Journal 2 (2011-2014) is much more comprehensive. There were 0 relationships during that time. Good thing too, because those were some of the hardest years of my life. Girlfriends would have only complicated things. You might say it's a how-to book on what not to do in your early 20s. By the time you get to Journal 3 (2014-current), its like you're reading the life of a whole new person! Calm, collected, and mature.

In 1 Corinthians, Paul says to stay single! Not typically the words single people want to hear from the Bible. He says that getting married causes you to become anxious about worldly things. He even says that he who marries does well, but he who refrains from marriage will do even better. What the heck!? Don't the single people wish Sandy would preach on that more often? This is what I think Paul means by what seems like crazy talk in the eyes of the singles. First, let's look at similarities.

• Is being married good? Apparently; I can't speak from experience.
• Is being single good? Yes!
• Does God have missions for people that include a spouse? Yes.
• Does God have missions for people that include them staying single forever? Yes.
• Do married people have many struggles? Absolutely!
• Do single people have many struggles? Of course!

But what Paul is saying here is that as a single, you can devote your full attention to pleasing God. You can stay out all night preaching and get thrown in jail like Paul did on more than one occasion. But if he had a wife, man would she be upset with him if he kept getting arrested for preaching all the time! His attention would have to be divided between pleasing his wife and pleasing God. Of course, it's absolutely not wrong to please both, but you see, singles are have much more flexibility in their missions than couples. We have a unique opportunity to devote all of ourselves to our mission! So be excited about that! There are ways we can make a difference that couples cannot!

It's a weird subject, singleness as opposed to being married. We're not used to the Bible telling us that one thing is great and the other is ok, if you want to. So this is how I try to think about it after I think too hard about it: don't focus on finding a spouse. Focus on your singleness. Because if God's plan for you includes a partner, he will provide him or her! And let me tell you, God can find a MUCH better person for you than you can. I have more friends than I can count that spend so much of their time looking for the one. But what if you spend all your life looking and never find them? What a significant waste of time that is!

Here's my metaphor. Pretend you want to read this book. Many of your friends have read it. Some of your friends are about to read it. You don't have it, but you want to get it very badly. Only one book store has this book, and they choose who gets this book and who doesn't. No one asks for the book, it's just given out. And all of this is common knowledge. Regardless, you spend a whole year doing nothing but try to get your hands on this book. But its pointless because of everything I just told you. Why would you waste a whole year trying to get something that's out of your control? That just seems stupid!

What if, instead, you just lived your life like you normally would for that year? Then the next year, suddenly, you were chosen to receive the book! That's fantastic! And guess what? You didn't have to spend any time looking for it or waiting for it! That's how I think we as Christians should approach marriage from a single standpoint. It's not something we need, but if we get it, that's great! And even if we never get it, that's still just as great, because either way, we are fulfilling God's purpose for us on earth. Just like my favorite verse Psalm 138:8 says, "the LORD will fulfill his purpose for me." Whether it's as 1, or as 2.